Suck It Up and Let It Go

Happy New Year! You made it another year. Congratulations.

Wednesday yoga was interesting. One of my regulars reminded me that she’ll be MIA for the next five weeks as she is doing another class with a friend. We had a visitor from the Thursday class again. My other regular was there as well. The class opened with letting go of all the stress, anxiety, disappointments, and other things hanging over our head or sitting on our shoulders from the past year. We opened ourselves to the possibilities of this coming year and let go of our expectations.

With all this in mind, we twisted, wringing ourselves out, and pressed into heart openers, feeling the release that only heart openers can provide. Of course, I had to add hip openers and quad stretches. It felt nice to loosen up from tip toe to crown. I left feeling much more relaxed.

My runkeeper shirt (in a mirror)

My running was interrupted by New Years. I was feeling so tired and we had plans to do some dancing this year with some friends so no run on Thursday. Instead, I danced for roughly three hours. I figure that has to count for something. Friday I had the potential to run 3 miles but I slept hard till the rest of our plans caught up with me.

Saturday had me a flare from the excitement of the holidays. I was very disappointed. I, generally, try to ignore the myalgia but sometimes it’s rather insistent. That’s when my fiancé surprised me with an early birthday present. We spent the better part of the day getting my new bearded dragon settled in. I have named him Karn and he is a little squirrelly but mostly likes to hang out and watch things.

Sunday I had me a run. Sunday I finally had enough of no running and started out at 6am with my favorites streaming on IHeart. I got to use my hat with LEDs and all my reflective gear. It was cold, low 20’s, but not too cold. Two layers on top, one layer on bottom, gloves, and headband properly prepared me for the weather. I wore my trail shoes to help navigate the snowy terrain.

Which gets me on a sore spot on the run. Well, to be honest, I wanted to turn around and go home for the first six miles. I had a banana on my way out but only one Gu pack. And that might have been fine but I had to fight with winter. Or rather people who don’t deal with winter. There was ice all over but that is to be expected. But the bike path I run was not cleared, nor sidewalks that the city was in charge of like by parks or freeways. Businesses didn’t clear their snow. Residents left it all sitting on their sidewalks. Sometimes, there isn’t a safe place to run on the road. I could deal with the ice but the plow packed snow just killed me. I just wanted to go home and give up.

But I kept saying, just make it to the next light, or that mailbox. I accepted that this run was going to be more about the miles than pace. I was getting so frustrated and, then, I heard a guided meditation come on my IHeart station. Her voice reminded me to breathe and relax my shoulders and hips. She reminded me to let go. And I did. And it helped. I still got frustrated during the run with all the roadblocks but each unshoveled sidewalk gave me a chance to let go and just enjoy the experience. (Maybe with a little swearing.)

One of the other things that was annoying me was my underpants. Make sure you wear proper underpants or you can have the experience that I did where they roll down. Didn’t matter how many times I chased them down and pulled them back up, they would just roll back down again. I don’t know if they were too big or too small but I will not be wearing those again.

The dog also upset my serenity, the serenity I was hoping to find on that run. She decided that she just didn’t need to bark at the dogs but lunge and growl. We ran into a number of dogs. The most frustrating part of it all is that she is actually friendly and would like to play. Most people don’t see her and think friendly. That’s one thing we’ll be working on when we thaw out.

So what did I learn on this run? Suck it up, buttercup. Sort of. I needed to accept my limitations on Saturday but I knew that my desire to stop on Sunday was mental. Much of running is mental. In the beginning, I had a heck of time running for ten minutes at any speed. And now, aside from snowy barriers, I can run 3 hours without stopping. My brain still tries to tell me I can’t do it, but I know better. The last half of the run was pleasant because I had finally managed to shush my mind and enjoy my music. I’m so glad I kept going.