And We Are Back

Oh, wow. I’ve been MIA for a while haven’t I?

I’ve only run twice. No reason other than lazy and it’s hot and I’ve not been sleeping well so getting up is very hard to do.

But the running has been feeling great. When I’ve been doing it. It feels good to express myself thru it. How? Because I’m pushing myself and I’m expressing my determination. I’m expressing my willingness to put myself thru great discomfort. Running isn’t really easy. When you start, your brain says nope. But you have to keep going through that. It is literally mind over matter. I could use the shirt that says that.

Then, there is the wall you hit when you’ve run for a while and your body goes “nope.” And it’s easy to just give in but that’s why you train. If you train, your brain just goes in to auto-drive and the legs keep moving. I hit it when I did my half marathon. It was hard. I wanted to quit so bad. My body was cramping and crying for a chair or a tree stump. But no, my brain overrode my body, overrode it’s safety protocols.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m slow. Very slow. Turtles have nothing on me. But I can keep going. My mother always said I was stubborn. And here is where it comes in handy.

Part of the reason I’ve been taking it easy is I’m in the middle of a little flare. It’s not full blown but it’s hard to do things. My skin hurts, I’m tired all the time, and my joints are aching. When this happens, I have a choice to make. Run or not. I have to ask myself if it’s beneficial in the future. Will it do more harm than good. Last night, I had every intention of going to bed early and running this morning. I even slept in running clothes. But my discomfort kept me awake. To get up and run would leave me with a 2 hour sleep deficit. When I’m going through things like this, it’s important to get rest. It helps with the healing and recovery.

I have been using my fabric at home for basic aerial yoga and doing restorative aerial in class. Less power and more deep stretches. I think it’s been going well. It’s hard to tell in a flare. But I do have a new class on the schedule. Foam Rolling. It’s always a love hate relationship. My first class was this past Wednesday. I had three very different people join me in the class. It hurt. I have no metaphor or simile to describe how bad it hurt. When you leave class, you feel completely beat up. It takes a day or two to feel the improvement in your body.

While I skipped the last Friday night live, I’ve been doing research on how to improve my lyra and aerial hammock. I’ve put them aside to run and now I need to find greater balance but I need to keep challenging myself like I do with running. There is the flow in the hammock that I need to improve. I need to find grace. With lyra, I just need to learn it. It’s a new apparatus for me and it’s painful.

So what’s the take away? Balance. I need to find balance in my life. Good food, healthy food, snack food. Emotionally, it’s good to feel the full range of feelings. Running and aerial stuff helps me find a safe place to express my emotions and sort thru them. Autoimmune flares makes me think about does this serve me or hurt me. Exercise should be balanced too. Cardio and strength training lead to a well balanced person.

Two more things.

I play Pokemongo. It’s fun and it lets me get some walking miles in. I found a wild Pikachu. I’m hunting Evies so I can have all three.

I also opened an Etsy Store. It has some of my photography. I already had an old cafepress store but it seems like an Etsy Store is where things are at. It might also have some other things as I get crafty. Maybe Epson salts or resin jewelry. I still have to figure out what I want to do.

The Natural Heart

EnfireDesigns-CafePress

So that’s it. I will see you sooner than later.

Taking To the Air and Taking To the Ground

Last night, I had a chance to take two classes with other teachers at the studio's second and primary location.

The first class was a fun aerial yoga class with the great Kate. She brings her dance background into class and creates such an engaging and challenging class. Part of the fun is the invention and connection of asanas. There is a lot of "ok, so when I get here....what can I do next?" The whole class is so organic. Everyone gets a moment to shine and everyone gets to feel special.

The second class was aerial conditioning. It was my first time attending and it really revealed all my weaknesses. My shoulders are weak. My planks need improvement. I felt the panic of not being awesome immediately. I grunted and panted with this effort and flushed while watching the other students nail each progression. I had to start to do damage control in my head. The truth was I struggled this hard when I first started aerial yoga. None of it was easy. All of it was hard fought. This silly panic was just my fear of being left behind. And our studio leaves no one behind. I just have a lot of work ahead of me to be awesome in this adventure. It reminds me to be kind and patient with all newcomers in my classes.

This morning was perfect for a run. It was mid-40's and drizzling and 4:20am.  I tied on my Saucony, strapped on my Garmin HRM under my yoga shirt. Fleece leggings kept my legs warm to prevent cramping, reflective jacket and elastic reflective bands. Music on, Runkeeper on, Garmin on. Dog ready to go. First mile, my brain was up to it's usual doubt. It tells me that I should stop, that I'm not a runner, I can't do this. The second mile was not much better and I was getting warm, too warm. Third mile, I've got my disconnection. My legs are just eating up the sidewalk, but it's automatic, like a heartbeat. Off comes the jacket, need to cool down. The heat can be smothering. If I get too warm, my breath comes harder and my heart needs to put in extra work. Fourth mile, I start to feel a little fatigue and the brain takes this time to tell me I'm done. Go home. You have no more left in you. My brain is a liar. Last mile, I'm panting. I'm sure I'm beet red in the face. And it's over. 4.9 miles done and logged. It was another struggle of a run since I was sick for two weeks, but I am recovering. Running hair, don't care.