Never say never

Oh, I could never…

I hear that a lot. I hear it about running and I hear it about aerial yoga. And it makes me sad. I say it about a few things like bungee jumping and sky diving but otherwise, why not give it a go?

I started aerial yoga because someone at my old work thought it would be a good fit for me. I’m not sure why she thought that but she did and she encouraged me to try it. Part of me wanted to say no. No because it seemed like an absurd idea. Because I’m a couch potato at heart. Because I have no upper body strength. But at the same time I was working on being more open. I didn’t really have a reason to say no, just some excuses. And I’m thrilled that I did it. I was hooked from the first class. Yes, there were bruises and aches. I’m not the best at it but I do love it.

What does aerial yoga do? In my opinion only, and I don’t have a medical background, it helps me be me. It helps me stretch out my joints in a way that even regular, ground yoga cannot. The fabric supports me and gravity helps me. Ground yoga hurts and takes days to recover due to my autoimmune disorder. Mostly, I’m fine the next day after an aerial yoga class. In fact, there have been days that I walked into class sore and in pain and walked out feeling like a new woman. It strengthens my muscles and joints helping me with my overall achiness. It also takes any mental stress away. I leave it on the silks as one teacher told me. Frustration, anxiety or anger can all be worked through and left behind. Being a klutz, aerial yoga increases my balance. I don’t know if I’m graceful yet but I have a tendency not to fall or trip as much. I am also much more aware of my body. It lets me be creative in expressing myself.

And low aerial yoga is even less intimidating. You are just a few inches off the ground. Most of the time you have at least one body part on the ground. Often, low aerial yoga is restorative where you hold poses a little bit longer and focus even more on breath and body awareness. Nearly anyone can do it. It’s still not easy and your body will still get a full workout but at the same time you get to stretch out. I love having my class on Wednesday because it’s conveniently placed midweek. We work out all the stress from the week so far and anxiety for the week or weekend ahead. Generally, we also share both good and bad feelings. Just to get it out. Sometimes, that’s all you need to feel better. I like to play modern folk music. Yoga music often made me unsettled as it was so unfamiliar. Meditation is also important. We do one at the beginning and one at the end of class. Sometimes, it will be a body sweep or a mind sweep where we become aware of what we are feeling physically or emotionally.

See, aerial yoga doesn’t seem so scary now does it? You should come try it.

Running is like meditation to me. It connects me to my mind and body. My body might be crying out to stop but my mind says “nope.” I was not a runner. If I was running something big was coming that I couldn’t beat up. Then, one day I was logging my walk with the dog and I looked at someone else’s log of their run for the same time and the difference in the calorie burn. I wanted that calorie burn. I like to eat and to have that many extra calories per day sounded good to me.

What I found was that I enjoy it. While I do it, because convincing myself to do it can be hard. It’s hot and sweaty and I’m slow and will probably never win a race. And I love it. I never thought I would, but there is something powerful about pushing your body to its limits. Limits that are further away than I thought they were. When I started a 5k seemed out of reach and in May I ran a half marathon. That seemed impossible two years ago.

So don’t sell yourself short. You never know what you might like doing. You might like running, hiking, knitting, crafts or hot air ballooning. But if you say, “I could never…” you won’t discover a possible joy in your life. Say yes, take a chance. Make a change. You will never know what you are capable of unless you try.

That’s your pep talk. Go forth and be joyful!

And We Are Back

Oh, wow. I’ve been MIA for a while haven’t I?

I’ve only run twice. No reason other than lazy and it’s hot and I’ve not been sleeping well so getting up is very hard to do.

But the running has been feeling great. When I’ve been doing it. It feels good to express myself thru it. How? Because I’m pushing myself and I’m expressing my determination. I’m expressing my willingness to put myself thru great discomfort. Running isn’t really easy. When you start, your brain says nope. But you have to keep going through that. It is literally mind over matter. I could use the shirt that says that.

Then, there is the wall you hit when you’ve run for a while and your body goes “nope.” And it’s easy to just give in but that’s why you train. If you train, your brain just goes in to auto-drive and the legs keep moving. I hit it when I did my half marathon. It was hard. I wanted to quit so bad. My body was cramping and crying for a chair or a tree stump. But no, my brain overrode my body, overrode it’s safety protocols.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m slow. Very slow. Turtles have nothing on me. But I can keep going. My mother always said I was stubborn. And here is where it comes in handy.

Part of the reason I’ve been taking it easy is I’m in the middle of a little flare. It’s not full blown but it’s hard to do things. My skin hurts, I’m tired all the time, and my joints are aching. When this happens, I have a choice to make. Run or not. I have to ask myself if it’s beneficial in the future. Will it do more harm than good. Last night, I had every intention of going to bed early and running this morning. I even slept in running clothes. But my discomfort kept me awake. To get up and run would leave me with a 2 hour sleep deficit. When I’m going through things like this, it’s important to get rest. It helps with the healing and recovery.

I have been using my fabric at home for basic aerial yoga and doing restorative aerial in class. Less power and more deep stretches. I think it’s been going well. It’s hard to tell in a flare. But I do have a new class on the schedule. Foam Rolling. It’s always a love hate relationship. My first class was this past Wednesday. I had three very different people join me in the class. It hurt. I have no metaphor or simile to describe how bad it hurt. When you leave class, you feel completely beat up. It takes a day or two to feel the improvement in your body.

While I skipped the last Friday night live, I’ve been doing research on how to improve my lyra and aerial hammock. I’ve put them aside to run and now I need to find greater balance but I need to keep challenging myself like I do with running. There is the flow in the hammock that I need to improve. I need to find grace. With lyra, I just need to learn it. It’s a new apparatus for me and it’s painful.

So what’s the take away? Balance. I need to find balance in my life. Good food, healthy food, snack food. Emotionally, it’s good to feel the full range of feelings. Running and aerial stuff helps me find a safe place to express my emotions and sort thru them. Autoimmune flares makes me think about does this serve me or hurt me. Exercise should be balanced too. Cardio and strength training lead to a well balanced person.

Two more things.

I play Pokemongo. It’s fun and it lets me get some walking miles in. I found a wild Pikachu. I’m hunting Evies so I can have all three.

I also opened an Etsy Store. It has some of my photography. I already had an old cafepress store but it seems like an Etsy Store is where things are at. It might also have some other things as I get crafty. Maybe Epson salts or resin jewelry. I still have to figure out what I want to do.

The Natural Heart

EnfireDesigns-CafePress

So that’s it. I will see you sooner than later.

A Prelude and My First Half Marathon

PRELUDE
I know, I know, it’s been a while.

But I’ve been busy. And relaxing, and running, and now writing.

This past weekend was race weekend but first aerial yoga.

Wednesdays' are nice as they are a nice relaxing interlude during the work week. It gives attendees a space to be themselves and to express things that they might not even know want expressing. We’ve had some aerial rolling at all the classes. I think it pairs well with the motives of yoga as a practice.

When I get to sub for a teacher, I learn just as much as they do. Each teacher has their own style and each class has its own vibe. I had my stepdaughter-in-law-to-be (SDINTB). The first class was empty so I stretched what needed to be stretched and worked on a couple of poses that I found interesting. SDINTB tried learning it as well. We worked on the pose and got nowhere. The class after had some regulars and a newbie. We all learned one of my favorite series, and we all worked on the pose I had been working on earlier. And a regular figured it out and we all gave it a try. I think learning like that, with a video, and dissecting it, helps us all. It might help us learn a new movement and pose. It might help in the future as we try to learn something else new. Transitions teach us to pay attention to and to breath in these moments.

Runner's World cookbook did not disappoint. I made a Peanut Thai Beef. It was simple and delicious. The fiance nearly licked his plate. I added some ginger and traded the water chestnuts for leeks. Whole wheat angel hair for soba noodles. 

I had run on the 27^th. Moving over to a different treadmill, I worked on hills. My breath was still so short. The plan had been to move on to level 4 on the treadmill but it didn’t work. Running was hard. It felt good but no records were set and it was frustrating that the lungs felt so gunky. No cough or runny nose had contributed to this feeling. The next week I had planned to keep the legs fresh. I walked and sprinted here and there but nothing of any distance. It was not a particularly encouraging run to finish on.

So I love Door County. It’s the thumb of Wisconsin. There is a quaintness to it that they vigorously guard on their streets with art galleries, restaurants, candy, and gift stores. Some evenings you can even see a movie at a drive in. But mostly, mostly, it’s relaxing. You can go out on a boat fishing or waterskiing. Trails course thru the county. Trolleys do tours of cherry and apple orchards or wineries. Or you can just sit on a deck or beach and read a book absorbing the peace and stunning scenery surrounding you. Or you can run a half marathon.

RACE REPORT

And that’s what I did. My fiancé and I went up on Friday. I was lucky enough to get a room with a whirlpool and a gorgeous view of the water. Packet pick up was extremely easy and all the volunteers seemed to be enjoying themselves. A small expo was set up in the village hall. This race felt different and bigger than all the other’s I’ve done. I think number-wise it was. None of my other races had an expo with race pick up, just at a local store.

Before going to bed, I laid out my clothes, put my bib in my racing belt, and made sure that I had my Chomps tucked away. I put a little lavender oil on my wrists and tucked in for bed.

I woke up early. Probably due to both habit and excitement. I knew I could do the race. I knew I could do the distance. The roads we were running followed partially along the coast. The hotel had a trolley running to the runners’ concourse. I left my fiancé to get a little more sleep. The race itself was going to be at least three hours and there was no reason for him to get on a trolley that left at 8am for a race that started at 10am. On the ride, I met a nice lady who waited 7 years to come up from Cedar Rapids. It was a Mother’s Day gift. I didn’t realize how lucky I was until then in my ability to just come up to Door County, nearly on a whim.

At the concourse, I was left alone with many nice running clothes. It’s a good thing I had a very small budget to work with and I didn’t buy the 40 dollar shirt or the great 80 dollar jacket. Other people seemed equally tempted. I went down to Nicolet Bay and did some sun salutations on the beach. And then I people watched.

I love people watching. There were groups of women who were seated together talking strategy. Couples took cute selfies with matching running gear. Older people seemed to all know each other and seemed to have more energy than me. Bright shoes flashed in the grass. Some were in shorts and tanks. Others had sweatshirts and fleece lined pants. I can only imagine how much some people’s get up cost.

The start of the race was relatively uneventful. Runkeeper started and so did my Garmin. I never started my music. Redlight Kings waited in queue in case I needed it. And I started too fast. And I couldn’t slow down. My brain yelled at my legs to move slower. I tried running behind slower people but my feet wouldn’t listen. My first 4 miles were under 12 minutes. My plan had been to run around 12:30.

And the hills. These were not your normal hills. They were big hills. Runkeeper said that this run had the greatest elevation. Chomps were eaten. Water sipped. Even though I had done some hill work I don’t think I would have been ready even if I had run outside making it a point to hit all the hills in my area. Not even I were running trails. I started bargaining early. But I made it up the biggest hill taking us to the pirate waystation. I think they had made their own Gatorade. The volunteers had dressed up in costume and provided a little levity in this situation that had me feeling rather heavy.

From there it went downhill. Both the trail and my performance. My fast start caught up with me. I needed walking breaks. Chomps did nothing to boost my energy. I broke the rule of not trying anything new and drank the Gatorade. Thankfully, it all sat ok. Just make it to the tree, and then you can walk to the sign. See that bend, make it to the bend and then walk the next to the next aide station. Run up the hill and walk the flat. Even though, technically, we were going overall going down, there were still some hills. They seemed steep but, in truth, they were not that bad. I was just tired. I felt wiped and done and I needed to argue with myself to not wave down the medical teams. My feet were the only thing that wasn’t hurting. Thank you, Brooks.  I started chatting with people because I needed to distract myself. Beer and cake was mentioned. Runners like food and drink. Some might say that is why they run: to eat more.

Around the 10^th mile, I felt a cramp. It didn’t hurt, but it seemed to stop movement. In my ankle. I’ve never felt such a strange cramp. It felt as if someone had replaced my flesh and bone with a rock. Part of me started to worry about serious injury. I’ve been lucky enough to avoid anything more than shin splits. Walk breaks became essential.

Bugs swarmed near the lakes. Sun baked the asphalt with little cloud cover. People were stripping. Shirts, hats and gloves littered the side of the road. Later, runners would drive through and pick up wanted items and anything left behind would be donated. I took off my long sleeve and tied it around my waist. Then, mile ten had me taking off my first short sleeve shirt and shoved it under my belt. Some took of their shirts and others tucked their shorts up under their waistbands.

The last mile seemed mostly downhill. I was running on fumes. I refused to give up. I was not going to stop when I was so close. Thank goodness, I am so stubborn. The course-makers were kind. Right before the last 1/8^th of a mile or so, there was a curve. You could hear the cowbells and the cheering and the radio announcer. Yet you couldn’t see the finish and they couldn’t see you walking. So I dug deep and ran. I have no idea where I found this energy. Some people started flagging even more. But when I hit the chute, adrenaline kicked in and I found even more energy and I sprinted the last 50 yards; long, distance guzzling strides. 13.1 miles down and I was officially a half marathoner.

My hands and feet were swollen. I’m not sure if it was blood or water or both, but I couldn't close my hands for a few hours after the race. My butt and hips already stiff. My knees ached. But I did it. I ran a beautiful course and a difficult one and now have joined a special group of people. And we still had a day left in Door County.

It included fantastic food, a celebratory drink or two, and a gorgeous sunset. But first, I heard the in-room whirlpool calling my name.

Leaving Door County is always sad for me.

But there is always next year…

Hello, Are you out there?

Well, hello again. I promise I haven’t abandoned you. As so often happens, life has gotten in the way. Between wedding and work, time has been at a premium.

Last Tuesday, I went for run before work. I’ve developed a plan to help increase my pace. It seems to be working and I can adjust it for the day’s need. I start with a regular five minute warm up and then start the work. Typically, I start at 5mph and each minute build up. And then build down. The first time around, I keep it slow, not building past 5.6mph. Second time, I build up to 6.7mph. And then back down again. How many times this is repeated is dependent on how long my run time is. It gives me an opportunity to work on pace and intervals at the same time. Even though it is an interval workout, it isn’t easy. I was dripping in sweat.

So here is the before picture

Wednesday, we had an airing aerial yoga class. The students and I had to let things go. We needed to air our frustrations out but not have any one try to fix it. Just say it and let it go. I would like to think we all felt a little lighter leaving class. In yoga, we talk about a mind body connection. Sometimes, where our minds go, our body follows. If our thoughts are kinda ugly, our bodies can go south too. In the beginning of class, we start with a seated meditation. Last Wednesday, we mentally swept our minds of all those things dragging us down. At the end of the class, we reminded ourselves that we are supported and safe and able to deal with whatever life was swinging at us.

I had the intent to run Thursday and Friday and Saturday, but it didn’t happen. I’ve been battling some exhaustion and a busy life.

We went to an Ani Difranco concert Friday night

So running on Monday happened. And I copied my workout plan but started at 5.2mph. I’m still slow. It’s ok. I remind myself that I just started running a year ago. I’ve been adding hills to my walking portions. A little birdie told me that my half marathon has some rather large hills. I don’t want to be surprised again like I was with the Great Pi Run.

Monday was rough. I felt like I couldn’t get going or catch my breath. Even before that, I had forgotten pants. No running pants. No running pants no run. Thankfully, my gym has clothes for sale and I got some shorts. They were super comfortable and unisex, so they weren’t short. They were long. I rolled them up so they weren’t knee length. It was an awfully sweaty run. But satisfactory.

Now this Wednesday, this Wednesday was fun. Last Wednesday, we did a little “foam rolling” with the fabrics. So I planned a whole aerial yoga rolling class. It was wonderful and painful all at once. In the past, I had a trigger point massage one day. The day of and the day after left me uncomfortable and sore. But the day after that, I felt so pain free. Foam rolling is of a similar concept. It is a popular way to work out sore muscles especially with runners. I’ve heard a lot of people with fibromyalgia use it as well.

I applied the concept to the low aerial yoga. It went really well. We used traditional yoga moves modified to let the fabric roll on certain muscle groups. The phrase “it hurts so good” surely applies here. Besides working out achy muscles and achieving myofascial release, it was great working on core, back, and arms. There was a lot of groaning after finding the spot. At the end of class, everyone expressed their happiness with the new class. I mentioned I might bring to a class I’ll be subbing for on the 22^nd and that sparked some interest as well. I think it was a successful class. Admittedly, I’m a little sore today but tomorrow will be better.

Studio was freezing this morning. Stayed in my coat for a bit.

Tomorrow, I plan on running. A few times, I’ve said I’m too tired to get up but I have found that I’m more tired and continue to get tired when I don’t get my butt up and run. Also, I don’t have to go to the gym to run either. I sometimes forget that I was a road runner first. When I run on the road, I don’t have the control that I get on a treadmill. The treadmill lets me fine tune what I want to do in a way that I cannot outside. They both have their benefits.

I love my active life. And it’s not as active as some and more active than others. At the same time, it’s really easy to fall into bad habits. I must be on guard. I’m looking forward to the half marathon. I just need to keep training and keep using my aerial yoga for recovery.

In the meantime, here is Karn sunbathing and straight up bathing

Also here are a few pets available at our local Hwy 100 at Petworld

Happy Pi Day

Happy Pi Day!

I have pie.

On Wednesday, I had a fun class. It was a class that was full of regulars and we adjusted some of the regular aerial yoga moves into low aerial. It was fun and challenging. I also finally figured out a move that has had me baffled for a couple of years.

Friday, I picked up the stepdaughter to be (SDTB) and we went to aerial yoga. It was a full class with lots of different faces and personalities and experiences. I am still not a fan of the leg warm ups. It feels like the hardest part of the class, the part where I sweat the most. It is also the part where my pants got super slippery and I slid out of my plank. I just laid on the floor and giggled at myself. Such a simple move and I slipped right out of it. While I was on the floor, I also realized how comfortable I was in the studio. In the past, I would have died from embarrassment and Friday, I really could have cared less. That is such a blessing to find such a safe place where I can exist.

Saturday, SDTB and I had a 5k in honor of Pi Day. We both received an individual pie, nice V-neck tech shirts. I had warned her the night before that there might be a hill or two after looking at the course online. The weather was one of those days where you weren’t sure if it was going to rain and the temperature made it difficult to figure what to wear. We both went in with goals.

There weren’t a couple of hills. There was 4 big hills. Big. Hills. And then a few other rolling rises. It was hard. People walked hills. People got sick from the effort. I ran, albeit, slowly up the hills. My left foot and knee niggled a little bit but after the first hill, it went away. Detachment had to happen quickly because my brain was very loud about how impossible this course was and how walking was ok. It reminded me that I hadn’t trained at all. I had brought music with me this time around. When things got hard, I started singing the lyrics. Anything to drown out my brain. And by the time I hit the second hill, I started feeling more confident. I knew I wasn’t going to win any awards but I knew I was going to finish. Seeing all the people being beaten by the hills as I slogged up them, I felt good.

The last hill took us right to the finish line. I didn’t see my SDTB except once in a turn around. She was a full minute ahead of me. She took second in her age group and got a medal. I found some speed out of somewhere and got up that hill and sprinted thru the finish gate. We waited around for the results and the medals. My time was 32:17 and I was 20 out of 36. The run seemed to be middle sized with 400ish people. It was more than two minutes faster than my last 5k. I can only imagine what my time would have been without the hills.

This morning I went to the gym. It was an easy run. The pace was nice and slow and comfortable. I looked at it as a recovery run. Some people ran next to me for a bit taking off at speedy speeds. Now don’t think I didn’t sweat, because I did. I’m a sweat-er. I was really glad to get some time in on the treadmill. I like running outside but there is something nice about the treadmill with easy access to amenities. And not need to be quiet because the rest of the house is sleeping.

No great revelations this time around. Just enjoying my time on the fitness journey. I’m happy to be able to do all this Bechet’s and myalgia. I wonder what the future holds.

Here are a few shots of my dragon and dog.

I caught her sleeping like this

 The dog watched Castle with me Saturday night.

 The dragon was not as impressed with the acting styles of Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic

PreRace Report

It is the day before a race. In less than 24 hours, I will be forcing myself to run faster than feels normal. I’ve been so focused on distance, my speed is turtle speed. With the treadmill, I hope to improve my speed. I’ve been doing sub-12 min distances. This will be interesting. I have to laugh too because running three miles used to be an out of this world concept. Now, it's my warm up. It will be great and give me a good chance to push it. I'll be reporting in on the Frosty 5k at the Winter Jamboree probably on Monday.

Before I taught yoga, I dropped off our house guest. Jack fit well into our household. He slept in my arms lest he paced the house for the whole night. He gathered his treats and moved them to eat by my dog. He followed me around like a shadow. I think, he looked a little sad when I dropped him off at his own home.

Yoga had an unexpected visitor. The studio has two different locations and sometimes students end up at the wrong one. And sometimes, class are running concurrently. Wednesday night, we ended up with a lost student. The regular and I encouraged her to stay and try out aerial yoga. She did great. I hope it was a fun experience for her. It is fun for instructors and regulars to have new people. It reminds us to slow down and to really align ourselves in the asana. The class was very casual and we worked our shoulders and necks the second half of class. It felt very nice after as I cleaned up.

Thursday I slept in. I wanted to do a two a day but I needed to sleep. I’ve been tired later. Maybe it’s the weather, or maybe it’s related to the sniffles I’ve had for three weeks now. I went to the gym after work. It was not nearly as busy as the morning was on Wednesday. I’ve now got a treadmill I hope for. I was on one that was a little softer for distance running. Two down from me was a similar model but it had a tv screen and I could plug in my phone to watch Netflix. I will be aiming for that one next time.

It was a great run. It felt good. It was hard and I pushed myself. I again improved my speed and managed my third fastest time. A couple of people ran next to me and fell away. Thank you, Netflix, as I watched the second episode of Jessica Jones and the start of the third. I did catch myself looking at the time and distance but I would then adjust my speed and distract myself with a little Marvel action.

Karn got to finally come out and play. He will be getting a bath and crickets this weekend. But he came and snuggled after I got back from the gym. The dog is getting disinterested in him so far but we will keep a watchful eye. When I put him back in, he was rather photogenic and silly.

Falling in Love All Over Again

I fell in love with running all over again this morning. The past few runs I’ve not enjoyed much. They have been hard and slow and while it gave me a sense of accomplishment and reaffirmed my determination; I wasn’t enjoying myself much.

Even this morning, I was tired. I’m still flaring but feeling a little better. Getting up this morning was tough. There was lots of inner whining. Getting ready, I felt like all thumbs. Today, I thought I would try pairing my heart monitor to my Garmin again. It was an immediate success. More thumbs as I gathered up my reflective gear.

The dog was rather uncooperative this morning, running slowly directly in front of me. She also has not gotten the hang of the ice. We have more ice in the forecast tomorrow. I don’t like the idea of running on a treadmill but these super icy conditions might require it. Outside just feels so peaceful, especially in the mornings when so few people are up. It’s so still. It’s just me, the dog, and the road in front of us.

I ran with the intention of pushing myself with a little speed work. Run quickly between ice patches. I think it might be best described as a fartlek day. What is a fartlek? It’s a Swedish word meaning speed play. It’s an unstructured workout like running and then increasing your speed up a hill, or to the next telephone pole. There are fartlek workouts that are much more “organized” but it seems to me that it defeats the purpose.

And that’s where I fell in love. It was fun. I got to run hard and take it easy. I got to work around the ice rather than it be a detriment to my intent. I didn’t have the fastest work out. But I feel like this will help my overall pace. I have a hard time with short distances. I don’t feel like I warm up until after the 5k. My time didn’t really reflect how hard I worked, and neither did my Garmin or Runkeeper. But it allowed me to work with my conditions rather than be frustrated with them. It’s freedom.

Short post but I was just so happy to love running again, I wanted to share.