Running Ohm: Wandering Around in my Mind

So I didn’t run this morning. I didn’t suck it up, buttercup. I accepted my situation for what it was/is.

Yesterday, I was experiencing sharp pain in the palm of my left foot. Out of nowhere, I felt like someone was stabbing my foot. Someone once told me if it’s a dull throb or ache, you can keep going but if it’s a sharp pain, stop. Sharp pain can be the sign of something wrong, more so than an ache, or that feeling you can get with tendinitis.

When I woke up I didn’t feel the pain but I was wary. Also, I don’t think I really woke up, even now I feel foggy. Exhausted in an way that did not reflect energy output over the past couple of days. My skin burned like I had sat in a tanning bed too long. My collarbones were sore to the touch. Among other things, these were red flags. Yesterday, I had had issues remembering words. I was flaring again.

Normally, I don’t let my autoimmune affect me and interfere with plans. I did that when I was first figuring how to live with it but now I would like to think it has minimal effect on my life. Unfortunately, there are days I just need to slow down. Even normal stuff, like the time of the month, can put me down for the count if I’m not wary. Take normal stuff and then magnify it. Everyone hurts, everyone is uncomfortable sometimes. People with forms of myalgia are no different. It just seems like our bodies response to it is…exaggerated. And it can get in your head. You can feel betrayed by your body. You can feel defeated by your constantly shifting limitations. One day you can do thirteen miles, and a few days later, walking to the car is a serious effort. People who don’t have these issues try to understand but support from other people who have similar issues helps a lot. Or friends that understand. I have both and it helps tremendously.

Another thing that helps is acceptance. There are a lot of things I have no control over. People get to do what they want, weather gets to do what it wants, the creek gets to do what it wants. I can express influence, but I don’t have control. I don’t get to make people do what I want, even bosses I think can agree with that. I can curse the rain but it will still fall. I can ask the creek to go away but it will still flow. I can do what I can to avoid flares, but they will still happen on occasion. I have control over how I respond to them. I sometimes get cranky and whiny. What I should do is get rest, eat well, and focus on what isn’t wrong or outside things, like the new bearded dragon, or my new wool socks. I can enjoy time with my fiancé and have a delicious dinner.

Which brings me to my next thought for this post. Food. I love food. My love of delicious food helped bring me to high weight. I ate food with the disregard of a growing teenager. I have a weak spot for cheesecake and brownies. As a developing runner and as a person trying to lose weight, nutrition should really have already been part of my healthy journey. I have two new cookbooks: one from Runner’s World and one from Harry Potter. Sunday I looked thru them looking for foods that I could make with fresh food, especially fresh food that the dragon will eat. I ended up grabbing more from the running cookbook this week, but I see many a trifle and stew that looks good out of the Potter book.

While a calorie is a calorie, nutrition is about getting the most out of those units of energy. Losing weight and being a runner is a delicate balance. I hope my new books will help me balance better. Yesterday, I made a cucumber, dill and yogurt sauce to pair with roast beef and feta. All was enveloped in a pita. It was delicious. The fiancé agreed. I really loved that it was so easy to make. It was supposed to be made with hummus but no hummus was found at my grocery store. I also made a dill and curry egg salad that I forgot to bring to work today. But a taste test says that will be delicious too. I also used another recipe, subbing the mango chutney for raspberry preserves and creamy cottage cheese for breakfast. I have peaches for grilling on my new grill pan to pair with yogurt and honey tonight. Pears for baking another night. I’m looking forward to this new adventure. I get delicious food and fuel my body with wholesome foods. Don’t get me wrong, I will still eat cheesecake and I will eat brownies. I’m learning yet another talent. Cooking. I’ve got stuff ready to revisit baking too.

I’ve had to practice accept today. I forgot my Vivosmart. I am not tracking my steps and thus not getting an accurate track of my calories. I know one day will not make a huge difference but I feel strange, like naked. Instead, I could consider today a day of freedom. I can only do so much and I cannot change the past and go back and grab the tracker before I left for work. I cannot control if the dog eats it while I am at work. That chance is past. All I can do is if it’s not eaten, try not to ever do it again. The fiancé and I had gone to see Bridge of Spies and when asked by Tom Hanks character if he were worried, a prisoner responds, “Would it help?”

Not quite the same thing but you get the idea